The Stamatina Project

… to bring you THIS wholesome 30 Rock inspired PORNO:

Yeah, I’m pretty horrified but I also kind of laughed. A little. One of you perverts watch it and tell me how it is.

Jezebel - Cue The “Liz Lemon Sucks” Jokes…

Aw, Mini Tina!

Celebrity Baby Scoop - Tina Fey & Family Dine Out In LA
iGossip - Tina Fey and Her Daughter Alice

NBC’s fall schedule has been announced and 30 Rock has been MOVED from its time slot! Season 4 won’t kick off until mid season; so, what am I supposed to do until January 2010? Read BOOKS?! OK, I do that anyway. A new show called Community starring Chevy Chase and Joel McHale will be taking over the Thursday 9:30pm time slot. I really love Joel McHale (no one can rock a skinny tie like he does) but I hate change and furthermore, I hate waiting. Also, does this mean that Season 4 will have fewer episodes than normal or WHAT? Guess we’ll all just have to wait and see.

In the meantime, check out a wee Tina:

ACESHOWBIZ - NBC’s Official Fall 2009 Schedule Listed

Tina Fey came chargin’ out of her mom’s love machine to provide us clever jokes that make us laugh and feel like, HEY, THERE ARE SMART AND RELATABLE WOMEN OUT THERE! So I salute you, Ms. Fey. Have a splendid birthday.

If you taped last night’s season finale episode then I suggest you fast forward through all of the parts with the guest musicians when you watch it. Because the episode itself was fairly decent and funny when none of the musicians were on screen. Alan Alda can do no wrong so I have no animosity towards him as a guest on 30 Rock. But by the time I counted 3 eye rolls–apparently musicians think rolling their eyes = acting–I was ready to S that D (shut it down, not suck that *beep*). Also, they couldn’t come up with anything better than “Get a room!” for Mike D and Ad-Rock?!

On another note, it WAS refreshing to see Jack going to Liz for help when he had qualms about possibly donating a kidney. As viewers we’re more accustomed to finding a flustered Liz under the tutelage of Jack as this Slate article keenly observes. But the episode does end with Liz heeding Jack’s advice to go out and get what’s hers since her job stability is less than stellar. Still, this episode reflected a little balance in the sometimes less than symbiotic relationship between Jack and Liz.

Here are some memorable Liz Lemon Dating Advice Catchphrases:

- Sexually transmitted crazy mouth
- Fruit Blindness (Nope, your fiance is gay. Look at him, look at you, classic case of fruit blindness.)
- There’s no such thing as bisexual; that’s just something they invented in the 90s to sell hair products.
- Not on my watch, beyotch! (Please, someone make a GIF of this!)
- S that D.
- Talk it out before you walk it out.
- Long distance is the wrong distance.
- ROBOT WARNING! (I really want a GIF of this too.)

Also, the Rainstorm Katrina line WENT THERE and I totally laughed. I am terrible. I also laughed, probably a little too hard, when Tracy called Liz a “stupid cracker.” I apologize to my white friends and reader(s).

All in all it was an OK episode. Some chuckles here and there but the song and the musicians were horrible. The song wasn’t funny at all and neither were the little one liners by the musicians, especially the ones delivered by Sheryl Crow and Maroon 5 Douche. It seriously enrages me so I really cannot expound more on the matter.

Dear Tina Fey,

Let’s not deluge Season 4 with guest stars, OK? I’ve been watching Season 1 again and it is so much funnier and wittier. I know you need the ratings but don’t lose sight of what got you here in the first place. If I so much as see another hokey guest star, well then, that would *almost* be a deal breaker. I mean, I’d still watch but I would hate to use 30 Rock as background noise for my weekly toenail clipping night.

Best,
Karmen

Slate - I Want to GOP to There

I HAVE A READER IN IRAN! Or so I thought. I checked the stats and I saw hits from Iran, the UK, Mexico, Greece and the lovely Canadia! I was stoked. Shit’s going international! Sadly, reality set in and I saw that each visit was for 0 seconds. It seems spammers love The Stamatina Project almost as much as I love it and that is disheartening. Pox on you, spammers!

By the way, did you see the ads for this week’s season finale? The Beastie Boys will be on! Three of my favorite old Jewish dudes on one of my favorite shows? *Shiksa victory dance*

By the way 2, my Jewish friend said that “Shiksa” is an unfriendly term. He didn’t say offensive so I will use it.

Hey, want to see some big ass pictures of this Thursday’s finale?! Here you go, my friends. I don’t know about you but I know what I’m going to use as my new desktop image.

In lieu of posting actual content for unspecified reasons, here’s a pic of Tina who knows how to jam out with her *beep* out:

And here’s Tina pretending to poop:

And everyone likes it when Tina dances:

Wait a minute, is this turning into a GIF party?

Heck yes it is!

Right click and save!

YOU’RE WELCOME.

Tina in Karmen-like attire

NBC will be extending SNL’s Weekend Update to a half hour format this fall. Seth Myers will do desk duty but they’re trying to get Amy Poehler and Tina Fey to do guest spots. I hope Amy does more REALLY?! segments with Seth along with more rapping. And if Tina shows up I hope she teaches me how to wear a blazer without looking like a lesbian bank teller… not that I have anything against lesbians or bank tellers, it’s just that I’m neither.

The New York Times - NBC’s ‘Weekend Update’ to Expand
Image from Popsugar (in case you couldn’t tell by the big ass watermark which I almost missed because my peepers are failin’ me)

Sent to me by a friend. I’ve been really lazy about updating. Sorry for disappointing the ones of you who read this.

L to R: Some wack “musician”, Jane Krakowski, some wack “musician”, Alec Baldwin

• Oh Jesus, it looks like Olivia-Look-At-Me-My Boobs-Will-Convince-You-I’m-Funny-Munn has joined the cast of Date Night. Maybe Tina can give her some lessons on how to be genuinely funny without serving your boobs on a platter all of the time.
• A bevy of musicians will guest star on 30 Rock for its May 14th season finale. They’re all musicians/bands I loathe, including: Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, Mary J. Blige, Clay Aiken, Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and Rhett Miller of Old 97s. I guess Mary J. isn’t so bad. But Clay Aiken, REALLY?!
• Tina’s got new digs, one that comes with 4 bathrooms, a powder room, and a library. Totally jelz. I hope she redecorates though. It’s looking a little waspy in these photos.

Cinema Blend - Olivia Munn Joins Date Night
Chicago Tribune - First Look At the Musicians Stopping by 30 Rock
Gawker - Tina Fey Is So Down-to-Earth She Lives in a Mansion