The Stamatina Project

The American Express spot, if you already haven’t seen it. What do you think? I think I prefer the print ad more.

And there’s a F(#@*@#* celebrity baby blog?

velcro sneakers: oh have you read our tina fey blog?
velcro sneakers: you’re a fan of hers, iirc
velcro sneakers: you need to read our site so we can get $ from ads
the other korean: I haven’t seen her show…
velcro sneakers: 30 rock?
the other korean: yeah…
the other korean: no, I lied…
the other korean: I’ve seen it…
velcro sneakers: i didn’t like it at first but now i love it
the other korean: yeah, I didn’t like it when I watched it…
velcro sneakers: it’s funny. give it another go.
velcro sneakers: it’s like cocaine
velcro sneakers: at first it bugs your nose
velcro sneakers: but after that, it’s great
the other korean: hahaha
velcro sneakers: or anal
velcro sneakers: at first it’s NO GOOD
velcro sneakers: then it’s SO GOOD
velcro sneakers: JUST KIDDING
velcro sneakers: ok i’m posting this
the other korean: puhahaha
the other korean: that was really unexpected…

Some interesting stats straight from Yahoo! — Check it.

The SNL return registered a high TV rating surge and prompted an 824% spike in searches for “saturday night live skits,” as well as a walk down memory lane for its best classics.

Among the latest skits, it was host Tina Fey’s return to her old Weekend Update anchor desk that set the buzz afire.

In other related news, Tina Fey registered an 824% increase in total hawtness, with a margin of error of 4%.

[The SNL Is Back] Yahoo! Buzz

First off, I must apologize for the lack of live-bloggy-ness on my part. I suck.

A lot.

…

Now on with the show.

I must admit–although I am a pretty big Tina Fey fan, I wasn’t aware of “Stamatina” until velcro brought it up. What the hell is a stamatina, you ask? A quick trip to Wikipedia via the Internets reveals…

Elizabeth Stamatina “Tina” Fey (born May 18, 1970) is an Emmy-, Golden Globe-, and SAG Award-winning American writer, comedian and actress. Fey currently co-produces, writes and stars in the television program 30 Rock, a sitcom loosely based on her experiences at Saturday Night Live.

Elizabeth is her first name? And where does the name ‘Stamatina’ originate from? Why does she go by ‘Tina’ instead of Elizabeth, Liz, Beth, or Lizard Breath? So many unanswered questions!

[Update] CALL ME SHERLOCK, BUT I THINK SHE MIGHT BE HALF-GREEK OR SOMETHING…

[Behindthename.com] Stamatina

I rolled out of bed this morning racked with guilt, thinking that Alex had live blogged last night’s episode of SNL and that I had dropped the proverbial ball. AHA! Alex also did not blog! I have a pretty good excuse though. Seeing as it was a Saturday night, I was curled up in a ball in bed feeling grossly glum and emo (my typical Saturday night fare). I turned on the TV thinking that I could laugh it off but I was too lazy to get out of bed to go to the computer. So in the end, I just took notes in a notebook. Hence this isn’t “live” blogged but more of a delayed blog. If we had readers, they’d be pissed. Here goes nothing!

Intro - The political debate intro was far too long. Parts of it made me chortle but overall, it dragged and severely lacked Stammy Stam.

Credits - Casey Wilson? Who is this new bitch? And why am I still not on this show?

Monologue - TINA! Wow, way to go with the nude shoes to elongate your legs! And nice, classy LBD. No spillage of the cleavage, good good! I don’t know why but I always get uncomfortable whenever Tina shows too much cleave on 30 Rock. It’s like seeing your mom’s cleavage or something. This is where Alex would say, “YEAH I WISH YOUR MOM WAS THAT HOT!”

OK, I love Tina so much that I’m even going to let that “drunk Chinese lady” impression slide. Besides, she sounded more Latina than Chinese. I know when I’m drunk, I don’t sound like that. I just sound like, “HURRRRRRRRAAAAAACK SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT.” That’s the sound of my vomit hitting various surfaces. Just kidding, we all know I’ve never been drunk before in my life.

Tina looks so much better with glasses on. Steve Martin is right, they are her trademark. What would my trademark be? My impeccable eyebrows? My porcelain skin? Nah, probably just my bunny teeth. God damn I need Invisalign.

Did Steve Martin just call out Tina for wearing Spanx?! I want to try Spanx that go from the nape of my neck to my ankles. Do those exist?

Annuale - Hot shit, I want that! Instead of having 12 rampages a year, I could narrow it down to just one?! Sign me up, side effects and all!

Rock of Love 2 - I’ve never seen Rock of Love but I do get a healthy dose of reality TV so this was pretty funny to me. Normally if I want to see trailer trash, I’d just take the bus to the train station. Seriously. I love One Legged Amber. I wish I was at BC when Amy Poehler was there. Oh shit, I didn’t realize that was Tina with the fake plastic lips. Homegirl looks good as a blonde.

“Yeah, I farted. Jealous?” Yes, yes I am. My plumbing is still backed up from traveling.

Digital Short - Andy Samberg in a Member’s Only jacket = FIRE IN MY PANTS! God, I’d like Andy Samberg in every movie. His Jewfro is on point tonight. Meh, the digital short could’ve been funnier. But I love old grandfatherly men and I wish this guy was my gramps.

Commercial Break - OMG, Ellen Page is hosting on 3/1!!! Girl crush alerrrrrrt! Honest to blog, I’m kind of obsessed about her right now. I love how she can’t walk in heels for shit. Rings true to my manly heart.

What’s That Bitch Talking About? - Keenan, where’s Kel? I seriously wonder what he’s doing right now. Please let him not be in a crack den. OK, so far this new chippy - Casey Wilson - is so not funny. And her name is eerily similar to “Carney Wilson”. She’s fuxored. I do agree that women can decipher other women’s jibber jabber rather easily. That’s because we’re superior in terms of communication and in terms of everything else on the face of the planet.

Snack Time - Yes, I was hungry and yes, I ate at midnight. Deal with it. I had my favorite Korean snack. Just kidding, I wish! I just had these.

Carrie Underwho? - Boring. I’ve moved onto Goldfish crackers. Dropped seven on the floor which broke my heart. This is what my life has become.

Commercial Break - Drilbit Taylor. No wonder Owen Wilson tried to kill himself :P.

Weekend Update - Oh how I miss Tina in Weekend Update. Is it sad that I learn about world news through Weekend Update (ie. Castro resigned?!). Fuckabee. Not funny. OMG YES, TINA FEY BACK ON WEEKEND UPDATE! Women’s News! Ooh a swipe at Lindsay Lohan looking haggard. It’s true, if I passed her on the street I would think that she’s 30. I’m 28 and people think I’m 22/23. It’s just like they say, “Black don’t crack… and Asians, too!”

Hey that new yogurt that helps you poop? Not so much for me. On the serious.

“Bitch is the new black.” I knew that already.

Celebrity Apprentice - The new girl is STILL not funny. Her Rachel Ray impression was horrible. How hard is it to be obnoxious and extremely unlikeable? I do that without trying. Is that Will Forte or Bill Hader as John Mark Carr? Either way, it’s hilarious. Creepy but hilarious. The same applies for Fred Armisen as Gene Simmons. Andy Samberg as the Question Mark Suit Man… I’d still hit it? There’s not enough Andy in this episode.

Wedding Skit - I was getting bored and sleepy at this point so I started looking at my split ends. The guy who is playing the drunk speech maker reminds me of an older, fatter, Dane Cook. So naturally, he’s not funny. Tina is just an aside in this skit when clearly, she could’ve saved it.

I Drink Your Milkshake - I really wanted a milkshake. I should’ve had one at In n Out. Again with all of the movie parodies. Movies that I haven’t seen yet, except for Juno. OMG Tina Fey as Juno! That’s like a marriage of my two homosexual fantasies… brilliant.

Amy Poehler isn’t afraid to be creepy, ugly, or gross which is why I love her. Someone needs to start a blog for her.

Because I cannot read the last bits of my notes and because I really need to go to the grocery store, I will end this delayed blog here. Overall the episode was so-so. Parts of it were funny like Annuale, the Digital Short, Rock of Love 2, and Tina on Weekend Update. But I think Tina’s talents were underutilized. We all know she is capable of much greater comedic feats. Lorne, why didn’t you showcase Tina at Tina’s best? Also, there was little to no Andy in this episode. I know this blog isn’t about Andy Samberg but throw a girl a bone(r) once in a while.

I’m not sure if the new girl will grow on me or not. Maybe in time she will. Kristen Wiig has finally grown on me and I shouldn’t judge ol’ Casey based on just one episode, right? Eh whatevs, I hate her for now.

IMDB says the last aired episode of 30 Rock was the season finale. God let’s hope not! What’s next for Tina aside from Baby Mama? What’s next for me aside from daydreaming about crafting all day with Tina Fey? Oh, right. Grocery shopping.

On April 25th, Tina Fey will be starring in a new movie called “Baby Mama”. Here’s the trailer:

To be honest, your Stamatina team is a little iffy about this movie. At first glance this movie does not seem like it will be a “smart” comedy like Mean Girls (which Yoon still hasn’t seen). Did Tina do this movie in order to pay off a hefty AMEX bill? Is she contractually obligated to do this movie because the writer is from SNL? Will I regret eating pizza at 11:30pm come tomorrow morning? Maybe, possibly, definitely. I will probably see this movie in April because I am THAT big of a fan. I’ll probably catch a matinee, alone, and use my old college ID for a discount. I’ll sneak in a burrito and engross myself in a sudoku puzzle before the movie starts so that I won’t look like a giant loser. These are the sacrifices I’ll make for Tina… Tina, I hope you’re reading this.

Enjoy your sexy tennis.

[Youtube]

This just in folks: Tina Fey will be hosting the new post-writer’s-strike 2k8 episode of Saturday Night Live! We’ll be live-blogging it from two different timezones, so stay tuned for coast-to-coast coverage and reactions.

 <3 yoon

If you stumbled upon this page by accident, you must have been Googling our dear Stamatina. If you’re reading this because I had previously shoved the link down your throat repeatedly, you’re welcome.

I first became a fan of Tina Fey’s on SNL’s Weekend Update. I was grumpy that Norm MacDonald no longer did that segment and my crush on Jimmy Fallon was waning as he became more and more of a coke head. Tina saved the segment for me by being utterly hilarious whilst donning glasses and a mega scar on her left cheek (What is the story behind this, does anyone know?)

Tina is who I want to grow up to be like. It’s true that I’m not that much younger than her; don’t let my porcelain Asian face fool you. And I believe that if I met Tina in real life, we’d be great friends. We would watch the Lipstick Mafia show (or whatever it’s called) and mock the foolish portrayals of the modern day woman. We’d scoff at all of those MTV reality shows but we’d secretly enjoy the Gauntlet series because let’s be honest, that shit is made of gold.

Speaking of gold, our dear webmaster Alex aka Foul Bowels has never seen Mean Girls from start to finish. And he calls himself a Tina Fey fan? PFFT.

Let’s get back on track here. What’s not to love about Tina? She’s smart and witty. She makes glasses cool. She has impeccable comedic timing. She’s left handed! She pulls off self deprecation without looking like a loser. This is a skill I’ve yet to hone myself.

I guess the only small peeve of mine with Tina is her constant cleavage baring. Have you noticed how many plunging, deep v-necklines she wears on 30 Rock? I’m not sure if that’s the producers’ doing (”We need ratings, more chest, Fey!”) or if it’s Tina’s idea (”I can be funny AND sexy.”) If it’s the latter, it’s OK. The industry is fucked and she has a kid to feed. Still I’d like to see less T from Tina and more turtlenecks. Actually, scrap that. Turtlenecks are ugly and uncomfortable.

I’ll end this post with this for you to mull over:  Does Tina Fey’s shit stink?

And I’ll answer this because who has time for mulling: It stinks like awesome.